I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
