I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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