i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
Randomize
