Swine flu. Run for my life!
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
He managed to tell me he was blind in one eye and convince me to have sex with him in the same conversation. It's love.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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