I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
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