I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
