spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
