and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
it's like iHOP with fire
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
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