ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
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