awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
he tried to have the "are we in a relationship" chat last night. I stuck my fingers in my ears, yelled lalalalalala very loudly at him and told him I would stop having sex with him if he ever tried that conversation again. bad person, or just being a realist?
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