ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
sriracha body shots, that's gonna be a thing
it's like you just said "i want you to suffer"
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
