you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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