I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
onest when I told you I'm a paramedic but I'm also a stripper.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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