I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
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