AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Yeah, sam & jessica were trying to have sex and you walked in & started coaching them through it with a fake hulk hogan mustache on.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
