arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
23 Parents Gave Awful Advice about “The Birds and the Bees”
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
These 19 Deaths Are Ironically Hilarious
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
THERE IS A VERY SMALL CHILD YELLING OUTSIDE OF MY DOOR. THE NEXT TIME YOU TELL ME YOUR TOO BIG FOR A CONDOM I'M GOING TO PUNCH YOU IN THE DICK.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*