Texts From Last Night

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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?

  (1-250): View more from British Columbia

  tequila

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  (250): do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub? (1-250): tequila http://tfl.nu/yi12
  Replies (12) Good night (5241) Bad night (553)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.

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  (508): she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock. http://tfl.nu/5spj
  Replies (9) Good night (797) Bad night (2043)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans

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  (502): Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans http://tfl.nu/uc1m
  Replies (12) Good night (6412) Bad night (858)
• Favorite

  (801): View more from Utah

  two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?

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  (801): two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me? http://tfl.nu/3spk
  Replies (10) Good night (1016) Bad night (4001)
• Favorite

  (770): View more from Georgia

  Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight

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  (770): Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight http://tfl.nu/pi0o
  Replies (5) Good night (1529) Bad night (660)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.

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  (515): your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head. http://tfl.nu/jev3
  Replies (5) Good night (763) Bad night (1602)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.

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  (248): What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy. http://tfl.nu/0mlh
  Replies (14) Good night (2333) Bad night (927)
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  (586): View more from Michigan

  He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.

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  (586): He played pinball with my ovaries. He won. http://tfl.nu/otpy
  Replies (8) Good night (1538) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (218): View more from Minnesota

  My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.

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  (218): My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery. http://tfl.nu/81gc
  Replies (8) Good night (1200) Bad night (431)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.

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  (520): I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break. http://tfl.nu/xprx
  Replies (7) Good night (605) Bad night (439)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin

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  (717): In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin http://tfl.nu/u60j
  Replies (5) Good night (774) Bad night (303)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...

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  (+44): I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed... http://tfl.nu/4mc8
  Replies (1) Good night (372) Bad night (552)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor

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  (646): Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor http://tfl.nu/9swp
  Replies (1) Good night (475) Bad night (202)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary

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  (973): Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary http://tfl.nu/fd32
  Replies (1) Good night (569) Bad night (230)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.

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  (416): Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing. http://tfl.nu/0abd
  Replies (5) Good night (795) Bad night (287)

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