just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.