Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(703): View more from Virginia

fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST

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(703): fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST http://tfl.nu/btab

Replies (46) Good night (889) Bad night (672)
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(513): View more from Ohio

Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified

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(513): Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified http://tfl.nu/jq99

Replies (20) Good night (753) Bad night (2762)
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(703): View more from Virginia

he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust

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(703): he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust http://tfl.nu/nu3n

Replies (92) Good night (1994) Bad night (5851)
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(937): View more from Ohio

I forgot how hot balto sounded

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(937): I forgot how hot balto sounded http://tfl.nu/4hja

Replies (18) Good night (3608) Bad night (925)
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(913): View more from Kansas

I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.

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(913): I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM. http://tfl.nu/ou48

Replies (33) Good night (1510) Bad night (5019)
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(646): View more from New York

But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.

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(646): But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet. http://tfl.nu/nifm

Replies (21) Good night (1817) Bad night (4020)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one

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(402): i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one http://tfl.nu/cpp8

Replies (15) Good night (4822) Bad night (1320)
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(201): View more from New Jersey

On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion

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(201): On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion http://tfl.nu/9p9w

Replies (47) Good night (2431) Bad night (8040)
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(405): View more from Oklahoma

We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.

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(405): We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out. http://tfl.nu/ia59

Replies (7) Good night (812) Bad night (3106)
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(831): View more from California

i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila

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(831): i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila http://tfl.nu/efvv

Replies (8) Good night (1571) Bad night (552)
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(512): View more from Texas

I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...

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(512): I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to... http://tfl.nu/6eke

Replies (13) Good night (525) Bad night (1791)
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(615): View more from Tennessee

There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.

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(615): There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%. http://tfl.nu/531s

Replies (3) Good night (745) Bad night (272)
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(859): View more from Kentucky

you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.

(1-859): View more from Kentucky

ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...

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(859): you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection. (1-859): ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave... http://tfl.nu/0oli

Replies (3) Good night (700) Bad night (496)
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(608): View more from Wisconsin

It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"

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(608): It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy" http://tfl.nu/jtam

Replies (0) Good night (593) Bad night (255)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants

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(248): I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants http://tfl.nu/k0mn

Replies (6) Good night (1150) Bad night (284)

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