i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i drank out of a bidet.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Randomize
