you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
Randomize
