evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
