its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
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