"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Nothings more american than taking a shit with a handgun next to you.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
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