Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
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