dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
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