Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
Randomize
