i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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