We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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