Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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