I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
Randomize
