yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
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