Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I lost control in the snow and hit a parked car. I went into our building to get a pen and paper to leave a note and when I came back the car was gone and there was a hot girl there. I used the pen and paper to get her number.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
He has the fingertips of a God
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