What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
