"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
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