Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
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Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
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I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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