Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
