I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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