Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
