It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
