Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
it's like heaven, but drunker
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
