I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
so let's talk penis.
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Yeah, I think they knew. I smelled like that telltale combination of strippers and Easter.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Randomize
