so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Congratulations!! You are the WINNER of a brand new BLOWJOB!! You can collect your prize between the hours of 12pm and 1pm today, anywhere you'd like!!! :)
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
