So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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