He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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