Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
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