So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Randomize
