Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
