there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
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