i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
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