I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
