He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
I love having hate sex.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
