don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I've just been thinking about sangria a lot lately, like an adult.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
So the girl I met at the bar last night came home with me. Played with my puppy. And left.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
