Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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