barbara walters just said penis...
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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