Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
