Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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