2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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