Kelly, is this rhetorical, or sarcastic? You are very kind & quite beautiful, but we never really evolved into anything & your prevailing ambivalence spoke more than words ever could.
"We" really do not exist-if we ever did. Both of us may have been hoping for more than was possible.
I would enjoy sitting down to talk about the dissolution, but think it may end up being counter productive.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
