I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
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