For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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