Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
