I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I woke up to my dog puking on my bed. Looks like it was a successful night for us all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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