How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
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If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
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So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
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