just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
Just screamed wow while using my vibrator.. new low
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