One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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