I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
could you please explain to me why my jumper cables are on my bedroom floor?
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Randomize
