last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
